One of my writing friends, Kevin Ewaskow sent me this poem for our month of Love Poems.  Thank you Kevin for letting us inside your Dad-on-the-sideline-heart.

In the middle of it

My middle daughter rock climbs
she is very muscular for her age
she is tall, vibrant, and quirky
she is impatient.

Recently at a bouldering competition
where the holds were far apart
her zeal and insecurities got the best of her.
Red faced frustration and shaking with adrenaline
after another “fail” she looked at me
I said “Good try!”
I meant it with all my heart

She wanted to cry
I wanted to cry
I wanted the whole world to stop
I wanted her to try again with no eyes on her
No performance pressure
No second guessing to hijack her ability
Simply ascending freedom.

But the bustling gym did not open such space
the bodies all around kept on
competing, motion, noise.

She didn’t cry on the outside
Neither did I, but my heart broke
for her it still breaks
and I hope at this time in her life
that my heartbreak carries her through hers
that my presence beside her
no matter how many times she falls
helps her in her becoming
helps her develop strength on the inside
helps her climb freely.

It is one thing to try and hold on to rocks
It is another to have them break your heart.

© 2017 – Kevin Ewaskow

Photo Credit – Kevin Ewaskow