It is my experience while observing Lent, that at a certain point it just feels long. The body says, like the unfocused, restless child it can sometimes be, “Are we done yet? Is it over? Can we go home now? I don’t care about the treat at the end!” And why do we push through anyway? If we stopped paying attention who would know? Do I really think that this small offering is affecting that many people? Is that the only reason I’m observing Lent? Well, all I can say is I hope not. But sometimes we do need to engage deliberately and with accountability.

Deliberately means that I’m not only fully aware of what I’m doing, but that it likely includes something tangible – touchable. Accountability can have a negative association, like a watch dog, who’s really only going to be nice with its master, but friendship can also be a relationship through which we gain the benefits of accountability. I’m more likely to keep going when in the good company of a friend – or perhaps when in the company of a good friend.

Lent in this way is also a good friend – it pushes me past what would be ‘enough’ or ‘comfortable.’ It says God wants more for me, has more for me and it’s good for me to stretch a little, push a little – struggle with the poem that won’t come together ( like this one – I was the one to prompt Violet this week. Its so much easier to respond to a prompt than to create one, but my friend Violet was waiting, so I pushed into it).

I was reading this morning in Lost in Wonder, Rediscovering the Spiritual Art of Attentiveness, by Esther de Waal and read this about those who went on pilgrimages: “…the goal of their journey was to find ‘the place of their resurrection.'” That’s a pretty good description of Lent really, for that’s the ending, Easter Sunday, the resurrection of Jesus. But it’s also a really good description of any spiritual practice, discipline or observance like this one – I long for this to be life giving – “resurrecting”. But like an artist who hones her skill with practice, sketching anything at hand, I too have to reach for what stills me, or makes me pay attention. Peace friends.

Still Life

In my restlessness
I reach
for what stills me –
pencil, notebook, the pine cone
now perpetually open
picked up on a walk,
thoughts caught, half a poem,
a line for your Word
holds me steady
in a churning world.

With enough light to read by
and gentle this space, I become
aware I too am an object
of your love and attention.

© 2021 Laurel Archer all rights reserved

Light Bulb, Staple Remover and Jar of Shells & Floats – Pencil sketches in Artist’s Loft Sketchbook – 5×8 inch pages)
Artist: Violet Nesdoly