Today we celebrate Caleb who turns 23. How did that happen? The way the Archer Family celebrate birthdays is oddly conducive to the restrictions we’re currently under. It took us a while, but we learned that Caleb didn’t really enjoy a crowded celebration, so Take Out and ice cream cake it is – again.

The trappings matter less than the time we take to celebrate him and his place in our family – crazy isolation or not. This is important for him, but it’s also important for us as his parents. This unique season is going to make all the birthdays we celebrate within it memorable, helping us to actually elevate our efforts to sing over, raise a glass to, eat cake with the one we love. Let’s make it a banner birthday year and a labour of love.

For Caleb

When you were born
a door opened to love.
We hoped, believed, endured.
Love is real work; parenting
is a lifelong labour of love.

Autism didn’t close that door,
not then, not now, not ever.
When we lost you, we found you.
If you climbed too high,
we helped you climb down.
If you shredded something important,
we made another, and another.
If you needed to jump, bounce or swim,
we jumped, bounced and swam together
with you. We walked and walked and still
walk and walk on pilgrimage with you.
On dark days, God shines a light.

You are the little boy
with mystery behind his eyes,
balancing on balls
and stacks of boxes — on everything,
like a spiritual gift you now use
to navigate the adult world of nuances;
there are falls and awkwardness.
Yet we see the grace of your childhood,
like the climbing skills we loved to watch,
now extended to those tending to you
as you climb through life: you follow
but you still inspire us to change
the way we journey through life.

Gentle Caleb,
you keep the door open to love,
gifting us with your beauty
and sharing with us
your presence. Now we know you
but one day we will fully know
what love worked in us all.

© 2020 Laurel Archer