Emma recently ‘graduated’ from High School. I say ‘graduated’ but of course she didn’t really – that term is awarded rather specifically to one who has earned the honour. Her overly large diploma merely reads: ‘member of the graduating class’. But I am DELIGHTED in my daughter at this time – you can not even imagine the fantastic job she did of participating in this right of adolescent passage that I don’t care about the fine print. I do care however about the scarcity of words used to describe her at this time — Graduate is simply inadequate, Member is wholly dull.

The journey of developmental disabilities is always a trail blazing journey; there is no well worn path; comparisons aren’t helpful; there is no higher, faster, better than someone else, there should be no ranking. Don’t get me wrong, there is effort and struggle, there is even defeat and victory, but the markers are largely unique and individually owned. The challenge is, how to celebrate that journey?

Participating in the larger celebration is one way and I’m thrilled Emma could participate. Not however, because she was allowed to, but because on Monday last week, she was able to. It is not the only way and neither is Graduation the only word to describe this moment:

Graduation
 
The precise moment,
a person’s accomplishments reach
a particular level, a standardized level,
as if accomplishments were rain drops
caught and measured
in a graduated cylinder.  Accurate
but not descriptive – after all, for this test
only a very few rain drops matter. Precisely 
those that fall into the 3 cm hole.
 
We didn’t count the raindrops 
you watched fall with delight
in sheets, or buckets, or steel rods
all over the back yard,
your hands open to feel the splashes,
your face turned to the sky
like a thirsty plant.
 
You, my dear, are a Garden.
All Snapdragons,
bright pink and sassy,
and Succulents,
sturdy, yet supple,
Hens and Chicks spreading
always together
over and between 
the rough rocky bits of life.
 
You, are a Meadow.
grown up in your own way
and in your own time,
a visual texture woven
with wild flowers, welcoming 
birds, insects and anyone 
who will enjoy the weather 
and linger long enough to be a part of
an accomplishment.
Unmeasured? – Yes,
but so free!
and this beautiful.

© 2019 Laurel Archer

Photo Credits: Laurel Archer: Featured: Emma at the school playground during the Grad Walk, where Grads visit their Elementary Schools; On the journey; Snapdragons, pick of course; Hens and Chicks, Succulents in bloom; The Graduate; The Fam; The Tassel; The Meadow; The celebratory T-Shirts designed especially for us by BroJoe Design Company. Thanks Joe!