This morning I travel to see my mom again. I’ve made this trip many times, but this time may be the last time. She suffered a severe stroke a few days ago and isn’t recovering. I’ve been preparing to let her go for a long while; my Mom is 91. She’s been in a care home for awhile, longer than most, but I find I’m still unprepared.
We had this beautiful couple of days together right before Mother’s Day – we ate strawberries and cream that she made me buy for her and insisted that there be cream. I thought it would be too much trouble to prepare at her room — but glad she insisted, glad we shared them together. If you ever have the same hesitation, buy the strawberries and don’t forget the cream.
Crawling into bed
Did you know I was afraid
almost every night?Darkness shut up the room.
Heavy stillness pushed on every nerve.
Alone,
I was vulnerable
to whatever horror lurked
at the edges beyond the dark.
I tried to be brave
knowing my imagination
had been hijacked,
I didn’t want reassuring words.
I needed someone
to share the small space
darkness had left me.So I crawled into your bed.
I’m sure it was tiresome –
but your love for me
pushed back the weariness
I know now, as a mother too,
you must have felt.Now I’m returning to you
with the part of you I needed
and gathered piecemeal
night after night like manna –
so you can face the edges
of your own gathering night.© 2018 – Laurel Archer
You so captured this season of our lives Laurel. Thank you very, very much. I’m glad you bought the strawberries and cream and I’m thinking of you and praying for you as you visit your mom for possibly the last time here.
Beautiful, Laurel. I’m so sorry that your Mom’s health is declining. She looks like a very sweet, kind woman. (((hugs))) to you ❤️
Awe thanks for sharing this beautiful story of your time with your Mother. So glad you took that time to be with her. She is blessed to have s daughter like you. Praying for her and for you Laurel♥️
What a hard phase. I am sorry Laurel. Thank you for that word. Sometimes I run out of energy to buy the strawberries and cream but when I do, I feel exactly like you, knowing there aren’t too many times of those left. The Lord be with you every step.
Laurel your mother lived well and blessed so many. I’m so thankful her life touched mine when you were but a twinkle in her eye. So thankful she was blessed with a daughter like you Laurel. Our prayers are with you all as your mother leaves for her heavenly home. 🙏
Your Mom will leave a beautiful legacy, just like the beautiful person she is.
Once again, you capture the moments, the emotion and the complexities of life with your wonderful poetry. Its a beautiful picture of the relationship of a mother and a child. Thankyou for sharing it with all of us.